Apart from choosing to live life with a positive attitude and a willingness to learn the privacy rules of Facebook, neither of which will be addressed in this article, check out the story that follows with an open mind.  It might just alter your perspective on joining the 5,000,000-strong, worldwide party of Facebook friends.

Here’s a brief, bird’s eye description of the cast of characters:

She:  Has been single for twenty years, smiles often (with plenty of laugh lines, aka wrinkles), and suffers an occasional chin hair that stubbornly presents itself.  Horrors!  She has multiple sclerosis, often walks with either a cane or walker, and needs to eat pretty frequently.   She is playful , optimistic and enjoys living life to the fullest.  She graduated from a small high school in the Midwest in 1966.  It’s up to you to do the math on that one:)

He:  Has been single for four years, is balding, a little overweight, and from past experiences, gun shy with women.  He wishes the hair on his head would trade places with the growth on his thick, gray beard.  He occasionally gripes about the attendant aches and pains of “age”.  His quick-witted sense of humor is unparalleled.  He graduated from the same small high school in the Midwest in 1965.

They both joined Facebook two years ago.

Facebook “suggested” them as friends, for having graduated from the same high school.  The facts are not clear as to who friended whom first.

Voila!  Here’s their story —

On or about April 1, 2010, she posted a comment in her newsfeed:  “A true friend doesn’t care if you’re broke, what you weigh, if your house is a mess, about your past, or if your family is filled with crazies. They love you for who you are.  A true friend can go long periods of time without speaking to you and never question the friendship …”

He remembered her as the daughter of his first boss.

He responded with:  “You must have received some interesting feedback on your post re Love and the ache we humans have for an honest commitment of concern, thoughtfulness, passion, and love. Does it really exist? … Thanks for creating the thought and the questions.”

While reading his message, she thought:  “Hmmm.  I remember this fun-loving, handsome dude.  Amazing that he still remembers me.  She drafted, then re-drafted a direct message (“DM”) to him with a slight grin on her face …

Their conversations escalated on Facebook DM, email and eventually Skype.

Last fall, after a much-anticipated greeting, she met him at the airport for a heartwarming face-to-face reunion.   It was one of those “Do you remember your first kiss” moments!

The film is still rolling with many editors in the wings.   But the initial credit goes to Facebook for affording the opportunity for him and her, from a distance of 854.5 miles, to reach across the airwaves and connect.

Please pass this on to your Facebook-resistant friends.   Assure them that the benefits of reaching out to family and friends via this Internet tool far outweigh the negative scenarios.   Who knows?  If they’re single, they might even find their soul mate?!

Let the song in your heart burst forth!

“There’s simply no such thing as thinking too big.” Author Unknown

What are your expectations for this New Year?

A single incident just drove mine through the roof!

It was an 8’ noble fir that filled our home with pine-scented memories beginning on December 16, 2010.  A dear neighbor strung the lights, and kids and friends hung precious ornaments that had passed through three generations.  Four new ornaments adorned the noble tree and contributed warmth and love to the Christmas festivities.

Fast forward to January 11, 2011.  The brittle branches were ready for recycling.  With a determination beyond my physical capacity, I tenderly removed each ornament and packed it away.  Completely unsure of my ability to remove the lights (without either falling into the tree or the boxes of ornaments); I started circling the tree with an “I think I can” attitude.  One string of lights, two strings of lights, and three strings of lights …  The process was painfully s-l-o-w.  I used my walker, the wall and a rocking chair to steady myself with each circle around the crackling tree.

Now divested of all the Christmas goodies, I pulled the brittle tree towards the foyer.  Twelve feet later, it toppled to the floor.  With my steady red walker as a balancer, I dragged the sappy trunk through the foyer, out to the walkway, past the garage and into a heap on the lawn.

Beyond your physical capacity, you say?  Yes, w-a-y beyond it!  I walk with a cane or walker ninety percent of the time.  Often steps are tentative.  But this one joyous experience will shine through my memory and allow me to create much greater physical feats.  It only takes ONE example to shift your mind to forward momentum.

Moving the towering tree set my wheels churning with exhilaration and a “Can Do”, fist-pumping attitude.  “Yee-ha!”

What do you want to experience this New Year?  Can you visualize, taste and smell it?  Can you wallow in its significance in your life?  I’d love to hear where you’ll take your journey this year!  What are your soaring expectations?

With Hope and an Excited Momentum,

Dar

It’s a balmy Sunday afternoon, the ocean breeze fills the top deck of the ship.   But wait!  We’ve got a tall order to fill.

A quick warning from Mary Jennings and husband, Harry Eisner, the founders and heartbeat of the San Diego Vintage Dancers, whose imagination and hard work have put the San Diego Vintage Dancers “on the map!”

YOU MUST DRESS UP, AND WEAR A LONG SKIRT, AND A WHITE OR CREAM BLOUSE, OR SOMETHING THAT LOOKS VINTAGE.  DRESS IS SUMMER WHITES OF THE ERA 1890-1920, AND MAYBE EVEN NAUTICAL. THAT’S AN IMPORTANT THING FOR OUR GROUP…  WE ARE AUTHENTIC,  LOVE OUR WORK,  AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

Don a wide-brimmed hat, held on with a decorative 9” hat pin, pull out your mom’s long strands of pearls, and gloves (either long or short)—were’re going back to that bygone era for three hours of dancing.

If you’re a guy, how about the barber shop quartet look, or a pair of spats if you own them?  Need a pair of shoes that look like this?  There will be a gentleman there who makes them by hand. 

Can’t find the right dress, ladies?  Hope you’ve had the time to call Shelley Peters of Sew Period! who has created a gem for you.
Got your gloves, ladies and gentlemen?  Let’s go.  We don’t want to miss a minute!

Enter the passion-filled world of gleaming wooden church pews, an open dance floor with fans a blowing, and Jacquelyne Silver playing (on an almost honky tonk piano), accompanied by Floyd Fronius on the violin and John Hurst on bassfiddle and bass.  Hear the strains of Great Big Beautiful Doll, By The Light of the Silvery Moon, or (sing along with me, if you will):

“Meet me in St. Louis, Louis,
Meet me at the fair,
Don’t tell me the lights are shining
any place but there;
We will dance the Hoochee Koochee,
I will be your tootsie wootsie,
If you will meet in St. Louis, Louis,
Meet me at the fair.”

Hurry!  We can’t miss a beat!  Or as one white-jacketed, gleaming gentleman will tell you, as he bows slightly to you, “If I get to the place where I can’t dance, please just treat me like a horse and shoot me.”

Check out the dashing couple who met on a ballroom dance floor.  She’ll tell you that she couldn’t afford to take lessons from him (a dance instructor), so she opted to date him instead.  She pauses to catch her breath as he grabs her for a Polka, whispering under her breath, “I just hang on for dear life.”  Whirl, whirl, whirl …

Okay, ready for the Fox Trot, Rumba, Two-Step, Swing, Charleston?  Let’s go …

What’s your age?  It’s not a consideration.  You’ll find a partner at this Tea Party.  Not sure of your skill level?  The mesmerizing beat of the music will keep your feet a’hopping.

Another decade, another era.  But the energy and passion filling the Berkeley Ballroom will fill your soul and energize your spirit.  You’ll be moved to a heightened sense of awareness.  I swear that you’ll come away feeling ten pounds lighter!

Feel the passion?  Care to share what YOUR passion is?  Shall we dance?

Carpe Diem,

Dar

Close to 19 years ago I held your big, calloused hand as you took your last breath, but while you left us physically, your presence has remained a constant source of strength every day of my life.

You were a strong man emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally.  You moved our 6.5 ft. grand piano on a refrigerator dolly.  You worked circles around men half of your age,  and you often sang as you worked.  We used to kid you that “work” was your middle name.

Mentally you had a curiosity that never quit.  On road trips that we shared as a family you would pick out the details of a scene and delve into the why’s and how’s of it.  Google would have been one of your best friends had it been available when you were alive.  From inventing a new machine to learning to sail, you were truly a student of life!

You always took home school courses.  When you passed away you were in the middle of an electronics circuitry course.  You would never let a new word escape without digging out the definition.

Emotionally you were my rock.  You shared your deepest joys and sorrows with me.  I can count on one hand the number of times I saw you cry, and when you cried, I cried with you.  Those were tender, life-defining moments that are etched in my memory.

You never flaunted your spirituality.  I knew you had a quiet walk with God that was secure, but you allowed me to express religious views in opposition to yours without passing judgment  (although there might have been times when you winced when you heard a four-letter word or two).

Your greatest passion was seeing your kids achieve their goals.  I can still vividly see the Cheshire cat grin on your face when I graduated from law school, gave birth to Alexandra, shared a book with you that was dear to me, or simply made a meal that you loved.  From the memorable events to the mundane everyday ones, you were always in my cheering section, rooting me on!

As you got older, you learned to adapt, to change.  You weren’t afraid to step outside of your comfort zone.  I can see you dancing at our New Year’s Eve party, going to the movies with me, or attending a Tony Robbin’s weekend seminar.

You had massive, powerful hands.  As a little kid when I’d squirm in the church pew, you would rub my arms to keep the bouncing to a minimum.  To this day I can engulf the security you provided for me during church services.  They were never my favorite experiences, but you made them palatable.

Dad, thank you for being my “Man For All Seasons.”  While this is Father’s Day where I publicly acknowledge you, I carry you with me every day.

I miss you, daddy!

Much love,

Your Dar

It was not a surprise to find music-related memorabilia everywhere—from a simple bar of soap covered with purple and blue music notes to a library and CD collection that could rival the Smithsonian’s.

Eight hours is a long time, but it flew by like the snap of your fingers.  Her world is compelling.  Talk about history, psychology, blogging, and music … she dusted fallow crevices in my mind.

She’s preparing a concert series for Russian friends, she shared.  My mind drew a blank, and I said, “Russian composers?”  “Tchaikovsky, Rachmaninoff, Mussorgsky, Rimsky-Korsakov …, “ she shot back.

She has written, directed and produced History Alive Through MUSIC, showcasing seven young up and coming actors from ages 10 – 17.  She walked me through the behind-the-scenes 15-hour Saturdays and Sundays working with the kids and searching for that perfect example of drawing forth the emotions as though you were actually experiencing:

• The Gettysburg Battlefield

• A slave who didn’t even own a pair of shoes

• An immigrant at Ellis Island being “processed” after a grueling transport in a ship’s steerage class

She sees kids (along with adults) losing rich history that our forefathers left for us, and it is her burning desire to educate and impassion today’s younger generation with a rich understanding of America’s grand history.  To that end, she is now launching into social media to open this world to others.

Sharing a meal with a creative genius is a meal all by itself.  There have been few times in my life when I’ve met someone who I could have stayed up all night talking with and never skipped a beat.  This was one of those occasions.

Not only was this a lunch I shall never forget, where I sat at the feet of a creative genius, it was also a lesson  for me to dive deeper into MY passion, squeeze the juice out of every second, and laugh, eat well, and let my pet give me slobbery,  wet kisses—and  very often, too.  That kind of grounds you!

Who has inspired you to reach beyond yourself?  When have you left an event ready to set the world on fire with your passion?  Who would you choose to spend an eight-hour lunch with?  Stories, please!  I’d LOVE to hear your stories.

Living Life With Passion,

“…[T]en thousand hours of practice is required to achieve the level of mastery associated with being a world-class expert – in anything.” Daniel Levitin

* I had the incredible honor of having Arthur (an Outlier in his field) fact check this article.  Since his comments meant so much to me I left them in blue, so you could gain more of his perspective, too!

The creativity of Cirque du Soleil is impossible to commit to paper.  It defies description.

Couple that with attending a Cirque evening with the most creative person I’ve ever known, my nephew, Arthur Davis III, and I could write a book about it.

Arthur was inducted into the Gymnastics Hall of Fame last year (as his Aunt I’m entitled to brag a little) .  I’ve included a clip from America’s Got Talent where he performed with his partner, Shenea.  Their skill level is unparalleled in the acrogymnast’s world.

We joined Arthur at a Cirque premier and crawled into his head for a bird’s eye view of what HE was thinking while watching the show.  He has worked with Cirque in the past and is currently moving into the arena of choreography and artistic direction.

My dear friend peppered him with multiple questions.  He loved the fact that she showed an unbridled interest in his perspective and he willingly educated us on the art of the performance.

He explained which acts were most difficult and why.  For example, the unicyclist who not only held a trusting partner on his shoulders (who weighed at least 100 pounds) as he pedaled in circles.  While cycling he began to twirl her around and around his body as if she were a limp noodle.  The act is extremely difficult, much more so than it looks.  It is the job of a good creative director to choose acts that ‘wow’ the audience, and entertain them.  This act was an interesting  choice, because it is very difficult, but does not leave the audience with this appreciation.*

Arthur went through the years of training and the dedication to their art that the performers endure to stay at the top of their game.  One girl who laid on the floor, put her legs over her head and proceeded to walk them around her entire body.  Arthur had worked with her during a show when she was no more than 12 years old—ten years ago.  I didn’t think her act was humanly possible!

He pointed out the different countries the cast members came from:  Russia, China, Canada, to name a few.  Their backgrounds included the circus, gymnasts, comedians, magicians, clowns and actors.

As a choreographer, the transitioning between acts was of unique interest to him.  He made this comment during intermission, and I looked at the second half of the show with a different perspective on where the directors chose to center your focus.  For example, you are watching an “unwilling” participant being pulled from the audience while the next act is being set up.

He talked about how difficult life on the road of a traveling show is.  There is constant change … never having the luxury of having permanent home, as the show moves locations every three months).

A friend queried about how often people were hurt.   Arthur explained that following a series of accidents across the board in different Cirque shows, the audience complaints of being scared and worried were rumored to have added to the implementation of the safety net on the tightrope act.

The Wheel of Death Act is one of the most electrifying acts, as it does the job of completely wowing the audience by actually seeming harder than it  is.  Not that it is easy or without risk, by any means. This is one of my favorite acts, because it is so effective in it’s entertainment value and creation of disbelief.

It comes near the end of the show and there are times when you are literally holding your breath while you watch these two guys go in circles on gigantic wheels.

The palms of my hands were wet throughout this act.  At one point I grabbed the friend beside me, thinking that the actor on top was stumbling and about to fall to his death!  While it is a little on the dark side, here’s a video of that act.

The evening reminded me of the book “Outliers:  The Story of Success” where Malcom Gladwell studied the successful people in all walks of life.  He defines outlier as “A place that lay outside everyday experience, where normal rules did not apply.”

This was truly one of those experiences.  It taught me to sit back, relax and enjoy the creative experience as viewed through an Outlier’s eyes.

How often have you taken the opportunity to look at the world through someone else’s perspective?  What has it taught you?  I’d love to hear one of your experiences of “crawling into someone’s head” and the insight you gleaned from it.  Please share your experience in the comment section below.

To Our Massive Success,

Dar