Early morning appointments can interrupt a daily routine.  When you spill coffee down the front of your shirt and have to do a wardrobe change, it merely adds to the pressure of hitting the appointment on time.

Having fallen prey to this problem, I hopped into my car and almost flew to the San Diego freeway.  8:15 a.m. was right around the corner (Yes, I love to push the speed limit beyond the boundaries).

Fast forward several hours and I am back on the freeway heading home.  It is hot and as I reach over to flip the air conditioner on, I see that the gas gauge is totally empty.  The yellow light is blinking, there are zero bars left on the meter.  This could be major trouble.

Panic time!  I can visualize being stranded on the side of 163 North, with traffic whizzing by at 75 MPH.  There’s ten, maybe twelve miles to go before a gas station is handy.  It is time to drive in the slow lane, without the air conditioner and keep my fingers , toes and legs crossed in hopes of making those last few miles.

That stretch of road lasts for an eternity.  It is time to refocus on reaching-the-gas-station goal.

How often do we pay more attention to our cars than our own body?   We change the oil regularly, rotate the tires, take them in for scheduled checkups and fill the gas tanks (unless we have a senior moment where we fail to LOOK at the gauge).

Juxtapose that with how we treat our bodies.  How often do you:

•    Sit at your computer for hour after hour without stretching?
•    Just grab something from the refrigerator and fail to eat a balanced diet?
•    Hit the 9:00 p.m. part of the day without your daily workout, thinking mon yana?
•    Put off drinking the recommended amount of water for your body type?
•    Have a 10:00 p.m. waffle or toast oozing with butter and peanut butter?
•    Delay that dental appointment because you are too busy?

Sorry to admit it, but I’m guilty of ALL of the above infractions.

How many of us take better care of our cars or pets than we take care of ourselves?

Prior to 2005 I took health for granted.  I broke most (if not all) of the rules for healthy living.  July 9, 2005 was a pivotal moment where I was told that I had primary progressive multiple sclerosis.  Suffice it to say that I no longer consider health a “given”.  It is a sacred treasure!  Cars can be replaced.  It is much more difficult to rebuild your body.

If my example can help one other person reform their health habits before it is too late, then this experience has been worth it.

Stop before you blithely continue to ignore your most important asset—YOU!

To Your Vibrant Health,

Dar

At the bottom of a musty, dust-filled trunk that hadn’t seen the light of day for decades, lay a packet of letters, abandoned for perhaps 130 years?  There were 51 of them—yellowed and brittle with age.  Each page was a treasure trove of love, gardening tips, the weather, and religious services.  They were passionate in a formal sort of way.

The year was 1880.  With quill pen in hand, and a crocheted flower in the upper left-hand corner, my great grandmother had written these letters by the light of a kerosene lantern.  Each one had been given a huge amount of TLC.  Reaching back into her history, here were some of my initial impressions of her:

•    Writing style was an art form
•    Spelling was impeccable
•    Sentence structure was complete
•    Attention to detail left little to the imagination

This was a woman who probably did not finish high school.  Who knows how much she read books or newspapers.   But she cared enough to develop the rich gift of writing.  Without any of the modern-day conveniences, she took immense pride in her style of writing.

My lesson from reading her letters was multifold.  I’m going to take Nancy Burke Barr’s advice and re-read The Elements of Style.  Fifteen minutes a day will be set aside to honing writing skills.  Here are a few tips worth employing:

1.    Appropriate vocabulary.  Be specific.  Use adjectives and powerful phrases, i.e., “the ceaseless grind of the earth mover on this blistery day” rather than the noisy machine across the street.

2.    Word choices.  This would include words that relate to the five senses.  Onomatopoeia might be a good choice here:   “Zipping up the zipper …”

3.    Structural clarity.  Each paragraph builds on the last one.

4.    Variety.  The length of sentences should change to capture the reader’s interest.

5.    Overuse of one word.  This has been the most difficult step for me to employ.  Each week I take out one word from my vocabulary that I’m overusing, like “great” or “awesome” or “you know,”  and replace it with a more powerful word.  It is okay to overwork the Thesaurus!

6.    Conversational tone.  This is not a term paper, my friends.  It is meant to be a dialog that is shared and enjoyed.

Writing is an art.  I often wish I would have taken those English classes a lot more seriously in college, however, it is never too late to develop excellent, thoughtful writing skills.

What skill sets have you developed in writing?  Does finishing a blog post just flow for you or do you agonize over each paragraph?  Are there any books or refresher courses that you’d recommend   in this vein?  Please share your  tips in the comment section below.  I’m anxious to hear your strategy.

Always Learning,

Dar

While there are many ways to burrow into your niche on Twitter, I’ve found a free tool that I highly recommend.  Listorious offers some of the following advantages:

• Finding like-minded people
• Steps for creating more interesting tweets
• Lists you have either joined or created
• Advertising your profile and your key tags
• Ability to search over 1,000,000 top Twitter users
• An interview where you can spotlight some of your outstanding Twitter followers
• Ability to ask questions to “the experts”
• Listorious 140 that includes the Top 140: Lists on Twitter, Most Listed People on Twitter, Oldest Accounts on Twitter and Most Followed People on Twitter.

Listorious has honed my Twitter skills. What have you found useful in developing your Twitter communication? Do you have a favorite program, tip or trick that works well for you? Please share your thoughts. I’m always ready to learn a new fun method of tapping into Twitter’s goldmine.

To Our Massive Success,

Dar

It’s a balmy Sunday afternoon, the ocean breeze fills the top deck of the ship.   But wait!  We’ve got a tall order to fill.

A quick warning from Mary Jennings and husband, Harry Eisner, the founders and heartbeat of the San Diego Vintage Dancers, whose imagination and hard work have put the San Diego Vintage Dancers “on the map!”

YOU MUST DRESS UP, AND WEAR A LONG SKIRT, AND A WHITE OR CREAM BLOUSE, OR SOMETHING THAT LOOKS VINTAGE.  DRESS IS SUMMER WHITES OF THE ERA 1890-1920, AND MAYBE EVEN NAUTICAL. THAT’S AN IMPORTANT THING FOR OUR GROUP…  WE ARE AUTHENTIC,  LOVE OUR WORK,  AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

Don a wide-brimmed hat, held on with a decorative 9” hat pin, pull out your mom’s long strands of pearls, and gloves (either long or short)—were’re going back to that bygone era for three hours of dancing.

If you’re a guy, how about the barber shop quartet look, or a pair of spats if you own them?  Need a pair of shoes that look like this?  There will be a gentleman there who makes them by hand. 

Can’t find the right dress, ladies?  Hope you’ve had the time to call Shelley Peters of Sew Period! who has created a gem for you.
Got your gloves, ladies and gentlemen?  Let’s go.  We don’t want to miss a minute!

Enter the passion-filled world of gleaming wooden church pews, an open dance floor with fans a blowing, and Jacquelyne Silver playing (on an almost honky tonk piano), accompanied by Floyd Fronius on the violin and John Hurst on bassfiddle and bass.  Hear the strains of Great Big Beautiful Doll, By The Light of the Silvery Moon, or (sing along with me, if you will):

“Meet me in St. Louis, Louis,
Meet me at the fair,
Don’t tell me the lights are shining
any place but there;
We will dance the Hoochee Koochee,
I will be your tootsie wootsie,
If you will meet in St. Louis, Louis,
Meet me at the fair.”

Hurry!  We can’t miss a beat!  Or as one white-jacketed, gleaming gentleman will tell you, as he bows slightly to you, “If I get to the place where I can’t dance, please just treat me like a horse and shoot me.”

Check out the dashing couple who met on a ballroom dance floor.  She’ll tell you that she couldn’t afford to take lessons from him (a dance instructor), so she opted to date him instead.  She pauses to catch her breath as he grabs her for a Polka, whispering under her breath, “I just hang on for dear life.”  Whirl, whirl, whirl …

Okay, ready for the Fox Trot, Rumba, Two-Step, Swing, Charleston?  Let’s go …

What’s your age?  It’s not a consideration.  You’ll find a partner at this Tea Party.  Not sure of your skill level?  The mesmerizing beat of the music will keep your feet a’hopping.

Another decade, another era.  But the energy and passion filling the Berkeley Ballroom will fill your soul and energize your spirit.  You’ll be moved to a heightened sense of awareness.  I swear that you’ll come away feeling ten pounds lighter!

Feel the passion?  Care to share what YOUR passion is?  Shall we dance?

Carpe Diem,

Dar

Review with me a few snippets of history, through the eyes of Mr. Ellis, which make this timeframe come alive.  These events also altered the course of our Nation’s history:

The Silence. No direct mention of slavery was permitted into the Constitution.  Congress gradually moved slavery off of its political agenda.  Slavery would become a defining problem for the next 70 years.  Ben Franklin spirited anti-slavery causes.  In fact, this was the final project of his life.

The Farewell. George Washington assumed the presidency in 1789.  As the popular toast of the day put it, “He was the man who united all hearts.”  He was the “finest horseman in Virginia,” a brilliant general and a revered President.  When he chose to step down, the political wrangling that transpired was nasty, cutthroat, and paralleled many of our modern day political scenes.

The Dinner. The night is set for one of the most meaningful dinners in American history.  It is June, 1790.  Thomas Jefferson brings James Madison and Alexander Hamilton together for dinner wherein a deal is brokered.  Hamilton agreed to use his influence to assure that the nation’s capital would be on the Potomac River in exchange for Madison’s agreement to many provisions of Hamilton’s fiscal program.  Thanks to Jefferson, a political logjam is broken.

The Collaborators. As our first Vice President, John Adams was muzzled in the Senate.  He spoke out too loudly, so they silenced him.  While he had assisted Thomas Jefferson in drafting the Declaration of Independence, it seems that history has given him a back seat to Jefferson.  With the advantages of hindsight, Jefferson’s “strategic assessment of 1796 appears more and more prescient:  Whoever followed Washington was probably doomed to failure.”  Adams had the additional woe of not choosing his vice president.  Before the passage of the 12th Amendment, electors voted for two candidates, rather than one ticket.

Adams left office a bitter man, with Hamilton’s diatribe ringing in his ears.  He also left town before Thomas Jefferson’s inauguration, which only added fuel to the fire of their broken friendship.

The Duel. Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr were two opposites.  Hamilton was an illegitimate son who “became a dying man to the cause of Federalism.”  Aaron Burr was a Princeton-educated aristocrat and long time political rival of Hamilton.  (Okay, you say, we already studied this in history.)

Ellis brings the lives of these two giants to life.  You can readily identify with Hamilton and the scoundrel Burr in the events leading up to the duel, and picture the day at the Heights of Weehawken, New Jersey where the duel took place on July 11, 1804.  The stage is set and two shots are fired.  As you read, you can almost smell the gun powder from that fatal shot.

The Friendship. Jefferson was the first President to campaign for political office, much to Adams dismay.  They did not speak again for 12 years.  158 impassioned letters would flow from Adams’ quill pen to Jefferson.  He would respond with half that many in return.

On the 50th anniversary of Independence Day, the remaining three signers of the Declaration of Independence were Adams, Jefferson and Charles Carroll of Maryland.  With quivering hand, Jefferson “summed up the energy for one final spasm of eloquence.”

“May it be to the world, what I believe it will be, (to some parts sooner, to others later, but finally to all,) the signal of arousing men to burst the chains under which monkish ignorance and superstition had persuaded them to bind themselves, and to assume the blessings and security of self-government—  All eyes are opened or opening to the rights of man.  The general spread of the light of science has already laid open to every view the palpable truth, that the mass of mankind has not been born with saddles on their backs, nor a favored few, booted and spurred, ready to ride them legitimately, by the grace of God.  These are grounds of hope for others; for ourselves, let the annual return of this day forever refresh our recollection of these rights, and an undiminished devotion to them.”  (emphasis added)

Thanks for sharing this brief glimpse of our national history with me.   To do proper justice to Founding Brothers, you’ll just have to read it!  It is one of those books where the ending comes too soon.  The characters come to life through his writing.

I’d love to hear which book graces the top of your history must reads.  What does the 4th of July mean to you?

To Our Celebration of Freedom,

Dar

Procrastination

“Defer no time, delays have dangerous ends. “ William Shakespeare

There are five top reasons I procrastinate.  While I originally thought they were listed in the order of importance, it was easy to pluck examples from my life in each one of these categories.  This list is directed toward blogging; however, it easily applies to any other area of your life.

Can you identify with any of these?

1.    Must Be Perfect. This requires going over an article at least five times.  Had I known that blogging would become a full-time passion, I would have majored in English in college.   Since nothing is worth publishing until it is perfect, days go by while I contemplate re-writes.  Videos are scrapped for a noise here, a Jing box you can see in the lower left hand corner, or a sentence that is out of place and won’t fit anywhere.

2.    Have All the Facts. This article can’t possibly be ready to publish, because I have more volumes to read on this topic.  I don’t have a grasp of all the fine-print details yet.  There is so much more to learn about this topic, or there is another class coming up in two weeks where I might learn more about this.  Perpetual student syndrome is hard to shake.

3.    The Blame Game. This game includes all of the reasons you can’t do something.  It is generally circumstances that are out of your control.  If only the neighbors weren’t so loud I could concentrate on writing.  I could shoot great videos if I had a decent camera and lighting equipment, but my tax bracket was so high I couldn’t save money for the equipment.  I would eat better and thus have more energy to write if the manufacturers of food didn’t offer such poor quality food.  Playing the blame game absolves you of responsibility for your actions!

4.    Busy Doing Nothing. There are phone calls to make, friends to connect with, banking and grocery errands.  But you’ve been really busy today!  Your email, Facebook and Twitter accounts have been incredibly demanding.  You’ve had to check them on a regular basis.  It is now 9:00 p.m., the “To Do List” has collected dust on your desk, with nary one single item crossed off.   Phew!  Much ado about nothing …

5.    Dreaming About It. Picture what you want and daydream about it.  Goals?  Well, they aren’t set yet.  That will go on the To Do List for tomorrow.  Goal setting is easy.  It just requires some imagination and a little bit of writing.  Goal achieving, on the other hand, demands that you step outside of your comfort zone and take risks.  It requires scrapping these reasons, thinking outside of the box, perhaps embarrassing yourself a little, but moving forward without fear.

Do you identify with any of these points?  Can you name some other great reasons to procrastinate?  I’d love to hear your favorite ones.    Can we bury them together, wipe the slate clean and begin anew with a powerful To Do List that will focus on our WHY and bring us one more step towards our goals?

Let May West’s statement ring in your ears:  “He who hesitates is last.”

To Our Abundant Growth,

Dar

This morning, while stumbling out of bed, a set of 4 lb. green dumbbells were staring at me.  My son had purchased them last night.  Huge, supportive hint, right?  It is time to take the mushy arms (aka relief society arms) and work them into muscles of steel.

Need you review a few of the gazillion reasons for exercise?  Check out the Mayo Clinic’s top ten list.

Are you willing to set an exercise goal with me?  I’ll promise to hold you accountable if you do.  I’m ready to get down to business, start sweating, and make exercising fun!?!

Let’s Rock,

Dar

While I generally am able to re-frame the least enjoyable items on my “To Do List” into more positive goals, when it comes to exercise, it’s a different story.   Moan, groan, there are so many other things to do, right?  So this article could have easily been titled “Note To Self On WHY To Exercise.”

Why is it that some of the most simple, basic things in life are so easy to forget (such as looking after our health)?  Why should I push through that cardio exercise today?  There are so many other urgent matters to attend to.  Here’s why:

According to the Mayo Clinic, the top 10 reasons to get physical are:

1.    Weight control. Combined with a healthy diet, aerobic exercise helps you maintain/lose weight.

2.    Increase your stamina. Over the long term, you’ll enjoy increased stamina and reduced fatigue.

3.    Ward off viral illnesses. Aerobic exercise activates your immune system.

4.    Reduce health risks. Aerobic exercise reduces the risk of many conditions, including obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, stroke and certain types of cancer. Weight-bearing aerobic exercises, such as walking, reduce the risk of osteoporosis.

5.    Manage chronic conditions. Aerobic exercise helps lower high blood pressure and control blood sugar.

6.    Strengthen your heart.  A stronger heart doesn’t need to beat as fast. A stronger heart also pumps blood more efficiently, which improves blood flow to all parts of your body.

7.    Keep your arteries clear. Aerobic exercise boosts your high-density lipoprotein (HDL), or “good,” cholesterol and lowers your low-density lipoprotein (LDL), or “bad,” cholesterol.

8.    Elevate your mood. Aerobic exercise can ease the gloominess of depression, reduce the tension associated with anxiety and promote relaxation.  Let those good old endorphins kick in!

9.    Stay active and independent as you age. Aerobic exercise keeps your muscles strong, which can help you maintain mobility as you get older. Aerobic exercise also keeps your mind sharp. At least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise three days a week can reduce cognitive decline in older adults.

10.    Live longer. People who participate in regular aerobic exercise live longer than those who don’t exercise regularly.

If you want to have improved digestion, a sparkle and radiance to your complexion, and improved posture, please join me in the greatest body tune-up of all time.

I’ve made a commitment to gradually work up to an hour of daily exercise by September, 23rd, the end of the summer.  Can I count you in on the challenge?  Are you willing to step up to the plate and maximize your health?  If you are, I’d love to know what your specific goals will be.  What will you commit to achieving by September 23, 2010?

To Our Sparkling Health,

Dar

1.    The ability to absorb. This means taking in the atmosphere, the color, the scenario, the sounds, the smells.  Most people are just trying to get through the day.  Change that around and get FROM the day.  “Join the University of Life!”  Wherever you are, be there to absorb it, picture, capture it and take it in like a sponge.  “Casualness leads to casualties.”

2.    Learn to respond.  Let life touch you.  Let the feelings strike you.  Our emotions need to be educated as well as our intellect.  The Blind Side, a poignant movie about reaching out, making an enormous difference in someone else’s life, made me laugh and made me cry.  (If you haven’t seen it, please put it at the top of your Netflix Queue.  You won’t be disappointed).

3.    Learn to Reflect.  Go back over your day.  Take a few minutes to reflect so you capture that day.  “A day is a piece of the mosaic of your life.”  Take some hours at the end of the week to reflect.  Capture that chunk of time.  At the end of each month repeat the process.  Take a weekend at the end of the year to establish that year firmly in your consciousness bank.  Remember the emotions, the complexity, the highs, the lows.  Lock in the day, week, month and year.  Review what worked well and what didn’t.  “Make the past more powerful to serve you in the future.”  Become more valuable in your marriage, as a parent, or as a business partner.  In addition to having some solitude for reflecting, take an opportunity to reflect with someone else by stating:  “I’ll take care of me for you if you will please take care of you for me.”  Work harder on yourself than you do on your job.  Become better than you are!

4.    The ability to Act. Act when the idea is hot and the emotion is strong.  Action has to be as soon as possible.  The law of diminishing intent applies here.  If you don’t translate that idea into action very soon, a month from now it is cold and a year from now it can’t be found.  Good health?  Is that your goal?  Get the process started immediately.  Capture the disciplined activity now!  “All disciplines affect each other.”  If you say this is the only place I let down, that’s not true.  Everything you do has a cumulative effect.  “Every new discipline affects the rest.”  The first little action will inspire you to go forward.   The greatest value of discipline is self worth.  “Neglect starts as infection.  If you don’t take care of it, it becomes a disease.”  How many people have a library card?  3%!  “A guy specializes in happy hour, but doesn’t have a [library] card.”  Why be part of the 97%?  Do the BEST you can do.  “The objective of life is to ACT.”

5.    Sharing. When you pick up a good idea, pass it on.  If you share a good idea with ten different people, you probably learn more than they do by repeating the concept.  “Sharing makes you bigger than you are.”  Can a full glass of water hold any more water?  Yes, but for it to hold more, you have to pour it out.  Then more will be poured in.  Humans have an unlimited capacity to grow.  A child will learn as many languages as you will teach them.  Expand your capacities by sharing with others.  “Pour out so your capacity grows.”  Then you can hold more of the next experience.  If you are too small in your thinking, you’ll not have the ability to share.  Some people have their cup turned upside down, so they can’t receive anything.

When asked about his personal actions, Jim Rohn said to follow his teachings, not his example.  Nevertheless, he inspired me to move forward EACH day and be a better, stronger servant than I was the day before.

To Our Continuing Growth,

Dar

Close to 19 years ago I held your big, calloused hand as you took your last breath, but while you left us physically, your presence has remained a constant source of strength every day of my life.

You were a strong man emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally.  You moved our 6.5 ft. grand piano on a refrigerator dolly.  You worked circles around men half of your age,  and you often sang as you worked.  We used to kid you that “work” was your middle name.

Mentally you had a curiosity that never quit.  On road trips that we shared as a family you would pick out the details of a scene and delve into the why’s and how’s of it.  Google would have been one of your best friends had it been available when you were alive.  From inventing a new machine to learning to sail, you were truly a student of life!

You always took home school courses.  When you passed away you were in the middle of an electronics circuitry course.  You would never let a new word escape without digging out the definition.

Emotionally you were my rock.  You shared your deepest joys and sorrows with me.  I can count on one hand the number of times I saw you cry, and when you cried, I cried with you.  Those were tender, life-defining moments that are etched in my memory.

You never flaunted your spirituality.  I knew you had a quiet walk with God that was secure, but you allowed me to express religious views in opposition to yours without passing judgment  (although there might have been times when you winced when you heard a four-letter word or two).

Your greatest passion was seeing your kids achieve their goals.  I can still vividly see the Cheshire cat grin on your face when I graduated from law school, gave birth to Alexandra, shared a book with you that was dear to me, or simply made a meal that you loved.  From the memorable events to the mundane everyday ones, you were always in my cheering section, rooting me on!

As you got older, you learned to adapt, to change.  You weren’t afraid to step outside of your comfort zone.  I can see you dancing at our New Year’s Eve party, going to the movies with me, or attending a Tony Robbin’s weekend seminar.

You had massive, powerful hands.  As a little kid when I’d squirm in the church pew, you would rub my arms to keep the bouncing to a minimum.  To this day I can engulf the security you provided for me during church services.  They were never my favorite experiences, but you made them palatable.

Dad, thank you for being my “Man For All Seasons.”  While this is Father’s Day where I publicly acknowledge you, I carry you with me every day.

I miss you, daddy!

Much love,

Your Dar